hack GU Survivor!
by An Ordinary Fan
Summary: My first actual submission.  When Salvador Aihara's ratings start to plummit, what's a man supposed to do?  Make a reality show, of course!  Eighteen contestants, but only one will win the prize.  But who?  That's where YOU come in.  Some endgame Spoilers
1. Prologue

Greetings, anyone who cares to read these sentences. To celebrate the release of the final game in the .hack/GU series, I thought I'd stick the main characters on a deserted island and watch as they compete to see who the ultimate player is. Then again, I could just eat some cake…but if things go well, this will certainly be more entertaining to watch!

Disclaimer: The .hack series currently belongs to Namco Bandai. Since the chances of me winning the lottery are quite unlikely, don't expect that to change any time soon.

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**Prologue: ****Great minds think alike. Not-so-great minds come up with reality show ideas. **

"This…is terribly, terribly bad," a man told himself as he paced up and down the streets of Mac Anu. But, this man was not just any ordinary man that you'd usually find saying something so vague! No, this man was Kazubolo, whose identity in real life was the famous Salvador Aihara! He had fame, money, women…well, he at least he has fame and money. So it might be surprising that he's in a bit of a funk right now.

Sure, he had a bunch of devoted fans all over the country of Japan. And since there was the occasional girl that didn't try to slap him at first sight, things should be much better than they are. But ever since that single incident with that Toru kid, even though he was the best journalist this half of the world has ever known, his popularity had been dwindling. After all, once you've seen telekinesis, a near-death experience, and a voluptuous female assistant all at once, it's kinda hard to top.

As the star was walking back and forth, trying to think of an excellent idea, he failed to realize that a female player by the name of –COOH was approaching him from behind. As soon as Kazubolo turned around to pace in the other direction, he received a swift smack right in the forehead.

"You pompous jerk!" the Harvest Cleric yelled at him. "You tell me how lovely I look, ask to meet me in Dol Dana at three o'clock sharp so we could quest together!"

"Hey, it's only two! What's with the anger?" Kazubolo inquired. Even when sulking, he had always tried to keep a date.

"You told me that FOUR DAYS AGO!" the other player screeched back. Just because Kazubolo tried, it doesn't mean he's too successful. "Do you have ANY idea how angry I am right now?! I wish you'd just get on a ship, crash on an island, and I'll never have to see your face AGAIN!"

"…EUREKA!" Kazubolo burst in excitement, somewhat startling the other player. He remembered that, in America, there had been a famous reality show called Survivor. A bunch of people were put into teams, stranded on an island, voted somebody off each week, and the last contestant on the island won some kinda prize. It had it been surprisingly popular; tons of sequels and spoofs had been released afterwards. This was just the kind of event that could save his career!

One single call to his manager later was all it took to get the ball rolling. 18 famous players from The World would be brought to an area specially designed by C.C. Corp for this exciting event. Kazubolo would be the host, of course, and people would e-mail his business associates every week to dish out compliments and, occasionally, vote for one of their favourites to stay on. Challenges and the props needed to perform them had already been downloaded. Now, all that was left to do was pick out the 'lucky' contestants…

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"Hey, guys!" the green-clothed Blade Brandier called to his two friends. Silabus, leader of Canard before Haseo had taken over, had planned to go training with Gaspard and Kuhn today. However, an e-mail he had received seconds earlier changed all of that entirely. "You'll never guess what I just got sent to me!"

"An invitation to that 'Survivor: World 2' event? Sorry to ruin it, but we got some invites ourselves," Kuhn, epitaph wielder and ladies man, told the eager player. "I guess there's nobody more famous than a friend of Haseo…unless you're a rival, of course."

"A Rival? Are you hiding something? How could you possibly know who the other contestants are?!" Silabus badgered.

"Relax; I'm just speculating. Still, I've heard a few rumours…"

Gaspard silently stood to the side as Kuhn and Silabus continued to converse between themselves, thinking about whom he'd be teamed up with when the time comes. _I'd probably be cool to hang out with Piros some more, _the Shadow Warlock thought. _But I wouldn't mind having to share a room with somebody like Matsu. Then again, if the grand prize is something like a one-of-a-kind card that you can only get once, being with Haseo and Pi would certainly help my chances. Too bad we won't know what sides we're on until the day actually comes… _

The rest of that day, for the three of them at least, was nothing more than discussion about the big event. Who would REALLY be on the show? What was the mysterious grand prize? Would Salvador mess up big time in front of a gigantic audience? Sadly, their answers had to wait; the event would not begin until a date that was not today.

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So, are you interested yet? The teams are already decided, but feel free to leave a comment or two.


	2. Day 1, Morning

Thank you, Kaiser Aldamon, for being the first reviewer. Coincidentally, most of those pairs were already going to happen. Heck of a coincidence, isn't it? Sorry to say, there's at least two people you suggested that won't be on the same team…but since they're bound to last into the final chapters of this story anyways, we'll likely still see some comedic actions involving them.

Disclaimer: What do you mean, I have to say it _every_ chapter?! …Fine. The .hack/GU series belongs to the people at Namco Bandai that invented it. And I'm not one of them. 

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**Day**** 1: ****Let the games begin…tomorrow! Today, there's only introductions.**

Morning 

The day had come at last. The area chosen for this once-in-a-lifetime event was **Σ Hidden Forbidden Nurse Carnival**. Out of the eighteen contestants, twelve of them had already arrived. With permission from the creators, the area around them had been transformed into a lush tropical island, complete with palm trees swaying in the wind and the occasional waterfowl flying overhead. Kazubolo was standing directly in front of the large group, looking towards where a camera had been positioned.

"You've heard it coming, you've waited patiently, and now it's time for the event to begin. From the creators of Online Jack, we're proud to bring you the very first episode of…SURVIVOR: WORLD 2!" the online persona of Salvador told the anxious audience who were watching this live. "Before we begin, I'd like to give special thanks Jeff Probst, who promised not to sue us for this. That certainly would've made things a lot more difficult!"

"No kidding, goofball," the player commonly known as the Terror of Death remarked from the background.

"With that said, it's about time we introduce our lucky contestants…or at least, the majority of them," the host continued. "Other than the twelve behind us, there are six special characters that will be revealed later on today. Our first guest is somebody who needs no introduction, so I won't bother giving one. Yes, it's none other than Haseo! Would you like to say a few words to the audience?"

"No," the Adept Rogue replied bluntly.

"…Okay then. Really should've expected that. Moving on! Our second guest was once a Demon Palace Emperor, and although she was in a coma until fairly recently, she has recovered enough by now to be with us today. Alkaid, anything you want the public to know?"

"You bet I do!" the red-haired tomboy exclaimed as the camera focused on her. "Don't think that I've grown weak due to my absence. I'm ready to give whatever it takes, and once I've won this prize, I'm going straight to the Sage Palace to try and claim a brand new title for myself!"

"All right! Next up is a young man who assisted Haseo in becoming a Demon Palace Emperor, and used to be in charge of a guild called Canard. Have anything to say, Silabus?"

"Well, it's certainly an honour to be chosen for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity," the Blade Brandier told the host. "I promise to play fairly, be nice to whoever I'll be partnered with, and try my hardest at every task."

"Our next contestant is not only the best friend of the previous contestant, but also one of the most famous Crimson Vs. Players in the country. Gaspard, what do you have to say to your fellow players?"

"Well, Kazudor…Salvabolo…whatever persona you want to be known as, I just really hope I don't get eliminated on the first day. But if I do, I won't be too mad. I'm not afraid to admit that I'll probably weigh down whatever team I'm on, but if I happen to last until the end, I promise that I won't let the glory go to my head."

"Thank you, Gaspard. Now…cough…terribly sorry, but all this talking is making my throat sore. Could the rest of you just introduce yourselves? Thanks."

"Um…Hi! I'm Atoli. I was a member of Moon Tree until it disbanded, and I'm also one of Haseo's closest friends. I really hope I get on the same team as him…"

"I'm Yata. That's all you need to know."

"Greetings, all of our magnificent fans. I am Endrance, former Demon Palace Emperor. This island is so beautiful, with its rich foliage and perfect atmosphere. I truly wish it was possible for Haseo and I could stay amidst such beauty forever."

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Haseo, Terror of Death: This is what you do when you want to make a comment to the audience, but not to your friends, right? Good. How many times do I have to tell En to get the heck away from me?! I swear, if it wasn't for some fan girl who sneaked her way into the company the day before Reminisce was released, I wouldn't have to deal with it…hey, how come I'm suddenly talking in script format?!

Kazubolo, star of Online Jack: Just go with it; it's too hard to write in quotations all the time.

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"Hey, wonderful ladies in the audience! Name's Kuhn. Although I'm on this island right now, give me a call and I'd gladly swim the seven seas for a date with you. But please, don't fight over me; there's enough of me for all you chicks!"

"Uh, I'm Bo…sometimes Saku takes my place, but Kazubolo said that it was all right. I won't try to cheat, but my 'sister' may be a little less forgiving…"

"I would like to be called Pi. No 'old hag'. No 'Yata's lackey'. And no 'chick with the hot body'. Just Pi. If any of you watching this refer to me otherwise, I will personally come to your door and punch you square in the face."

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Kuhn, the Propagation: Yeah, Pi's a bit of a control freak. But deep down, underneath all of that anger…actually, there's even _more_ anger. So don't think she's kidding about punching you out; she's the kind of gal who would.

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"I am the wild Doberman, howling through the night! The majestic eagle soaring through the sky! The ferocious shark in a sea of fear! Behold the might of Piros the 3rd!"

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Haseo, Terror of Death: …Moron.

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"I'm the last one for now, aren't I? Well, I'm Zelkova. Before the incident at Moon Tree, I used to be the guild master. But, I'm not angry that it disbanded. In fact, I kinda like having all this freedom. But if I'm going to win this, I'll need to be ready for practically anything."

"And there we go! Quite the selection, if I do say so myself! Now, I'm going to explain how things will go. Starting tomorrow, both teams will wake up and have a few hours of peace. Then, midday, we'll have a competition to see which team will lose a member. At the end of the day, there will be a vote. The first will be by you, the wonderful audience, to pick which one will receive immunity. The second will be between the actual members, to see which one of them gets the boot. But that's not happening today! We've already spent the morning telling you who our regular contestants are. Throughout the day, the others will appear, and we get to see what reactions will occur from their appearance. And at the end, I'll reveal who is in what team. This is Salvador Aihara, signi-"

"Hey, wait a second!"

"…What is it, Haseo?"

"This is a freakin' video game! How do you expect us to-"

"Oh, I get it. You're wondering not only how this will be realistic, but also what will happen to your offline self."

"…Lucky guess."

"Well, don't worry about it. By an extremely fortunate twist of fate, the one and only Aura heard word about our project and wanted to lend a hand. Similar to an AIDA server, your consciousness will swap between your online and offline selves until you're voted off. And, while you're trying to stay in the game, your offline self will be completely fine, even if you're here for weeks."

"What would a goddess find interesting about a reality show?"

"How the heck should I know? It's one of those things that just can't be explained. Now, as I was saying earlier…this is Salvador Aihara, signing off!"

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And so, the first twelve members have been introduced. How well will they cooperate? Who are the remaining six members? And how will the teams be divided? Take a guess if you want, but it'll all be revealed in due time. 


	3. Day 1, AfternoonNight

Looks like I've got another reviewer. Thank you for the high score, TheAzureDolphin; I promise to keep the good times coming! Speaking of which, it is now time for the second of the first day. Time to meet our surprise guests!

Disclaimer: Since I'm not quite old enough to gamble yet, I cannot earn the money to buy the .hack series from Namco Bandai. But, one of these days… 

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Afternoon

Kazubolo had left for now, but the audience was still able to watch the contestants get used to their surroundings. Kuhn and Pi decided to stay at the beach where they had arrived, watching the pixelated waves splash up against the shore.

"So, great vacation spot, isn't it?" Kuhn remarked, trying to spark conversation.

"I admit, it looks the corporation worked rather hard on this," Pi replied. "But, they made a horrid choice in keywords. 'Nurse Carnival', when used by perverted guys like yourself and Salvador, is insulting to the intelligent women who have worked hard to maintain a career in medicine. Just because they may be attractive, it isn't proper to compare the experience to some kind of amusement park. If that wasn't enough, the first two words just _had_ to be 'Hidden' and 'Forbidden'. This is a one-time thing, and it sounds as grand as the Hulle Granz Cathedral! It's like comparing what my cat coughed up the other day to a work of Da Vinci."

"…Okay then," Kuhn replied, deciding that silence truly was golden depending on the scenario.

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Kuhn, the Propagation: I admit, I do enjoy Pi's company. Not as a chick, but at least as a good friend. Still, does she have to be a whiny you-know-what? Women's rights this, scandalous notions that. Why can't she ever just take a break, and enjoy my company? It's only due time until I find a chick to propose to, online or off, and she's going to end up regretting times like this for the rest of her life. Don't believe me? Just ask her yourself. I bet she values our friendship more than anything, and is just too afraid to admit it.

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Pi, the Avenger: You want to know what I think about Kuhn? That Steam Gunner talks the talk, but behind all that fancy wordplay, he's nothing more than a lousy pervert. He's so full of himself, thinking that he can impress a woman with his mannerisms. By the time he realises that the majority of the female half of the human race wants to be treated as equals, it'll be too late for him. He'll wind up just like that monk character from that 'Inuyasha' show I used to watch; I just know it. Though, now that I think about it, he hasn't actually said anything too offensive…_yet. _

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Meanwhile, Silabus and Bo were checking out the cabins the teams would be staying in for the duration of the show. The first one had sturdy walls, a well-supported ceiling, a great view of the ocean, a vanity table for the girls, and five bunk beds. "Why is there ten places to sleep if there's only going to be nine people per team?" Bo asked.

"Hang on; it's in here somewhere," Silabus told the kid as he looked through a brochure Kazubolo had thoughtfully left in a drawer of the table. "Aha! Found it! Says here that, should one member's bed accidentally breaks on the first day, they won't have to sleep on the floor. Gee, these guys thought of every possibility, didn't they?"

The two contestants then left the first cabin, and entered the second. It was the exact same as the first cabin, with a single exception: there was a rather large lump already in one of the beds. "I-is that one of the six who weren't in the introduction?" Bo inquired, wondering which of Haseo's friends, bar Piros the 3rd, could be that large in size.

"It must be," Silabus replied, not moving an inch. He also couldn't remember who he knew that was considerably big in comparison to himself, and was too afraid to find out. "So…should we wake him up and introduce ourselves?"

"It would be a nice thing to do."

"Yes, it would."

"…Then, aren't you going to wake him up?"

"Me?! Why don't _you_ wake him up?!"

"I thought _you_ were the one that wanted to introduce ourselves!"

"Well, did you or did you not say that it would be nice?"

"Yeah, but…Wait; where'd he go?"

Bo pointed at the bed, and as Silabus looked in its direction, he could no longer see the shape of a person sleeping on it. A few seconds later, he felt someone breathing heavily on his back. He turned around nervously, and was face-to-face with a muscular man whose body looked sown together. The Brandier then did what anyone else in his situation would've done; he ran to the window, jumped out, and ran for his life.

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Gaspard had wandered off to the middle of the tropical jungle on the isle, and was currently picking berries from a bush. He had taken enough botany classes to know that they were safe to munch on. "If this really is going to be like an AIDA server, I'm going to be ready this time!" the Tu Triber told himself. Whether or not anyone believed it, he had experienced being his online persona before, and now knew that you should be just as careful about what you could possibly face as you would in reality.

The berries were small, red, and easy to pick. At least, the ones he had gathered so far were. As he extended his hand and picked another tiny, red sphere, he had a rather difficult time trying to pull it off the branch. He struggled for a few seconds, took a two-second break, and then yanked with all of his might. Imagine his face when, instead of a berry, he had just yanked out an entire character!

"Owie! My nose! Didja hafta yank so hard?!" the Lei Triber muttered, her two paws covering up the part of her face that was now in pain.

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Gaspard, Crimson Vs. Champion: At the time, I didn't really understand what was going on. She was sitting in the middle of a berry patch, completely camouflaged, and blames me for her injury! If she didn't want her nose pulled, she shouldn't have made it look so…delicious! Of course, I didn't bother to say any of that to her face.

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"Listen, I'm terribly sorry that…hey, aren't you Tabby?" Gaspard asked the female player. "I thought I heard from Haseo that you wouldn't be coming back after clearing the Forest of Pain event!

"Yeah, I know," Tabby responded, hands now off her nose. "But I never took the time to delete my character, so the studio that's filming this show could still find out my e-mail address and give me an invite. And how exactly could you pass up a vacation like this?"

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Back in the cabin, Bo had swapped places with Saku, and the fangirl was now giving the large program a piece of her mind. "Listen, Mr. Naked Man! If you think you can just warp behind us and try to scare our brains out, you're nothing more than an arrogant bully! Do you even consider for a second what everyone else thinks of you? You're freakishly muscular, have a giant sword, and look like Frankenstein's long-lost cousin! Did you see how fast Silabus bolted? Keep behaving like that, and not even the other Azures will stick around for long, you big jerk!"

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"Phew; I think I lost him," Silabus remarked as he looked behind him. Not knowing that the large man had not actually given chase, he had run straight through the jungle and had reached an altar on the other side of the isle. Slightly smiling, the green-clothed player turned his head back around…and was now staring in the face of a man with gray hair that covered his eyes, and two purple, featherless wings sticking out of his back. Deciding that he may as well take his chances with the strong-looking zombie, he quickly ran away from the new threat and back towards the cabins.

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Silabus, N00b Helper: I don't believe in omens, but after encountering two demons in a single hour, I started to wonder whether or not coming onto this island was such a good idea.

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"Well, this is a fine mess you've gotten us into," Alkaid told the Lord Partizan as she continued to sink. She, Piros the 3rd, Gaspard, Endrance, and Atoli had volunteered to explore the island for any natural dangers. Soon after Gaspard had split off to gather rations in case of a foodless night, they had come across a quicksand pit. Piros, being the fool that he was, doubted that was still active and tried to walk across it. When his notion proved to be false, the others grabbed his lance and attempted to pull him up, only to be dragged down with him.

"I, Piros the Third, assure you that this is _not_ a mess I have gotten us into. It is a test of abilities that I purposely initiated in order to prove to the others that we have the strength and willpower to survive until the end of this glorious quest!"

"…You're lying, aren't you?"

"So what? At least it doesn't sound as stupid!"

"Could you two please keep it down?" Endrance requested. "If I must die in such an unfortunate method, I would prefer some silence. Then, it would be easier to concentrate on my darling Haseo…"

"YOUR darling Haseo?! Not in THIS dimension, if I have anything to say about it!"

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Atoli, the Mirage: Alkaid can be very nice at times, you know. I remember, when we were training for the Sage Palace, she accepted the fact that Haseo and I had grown close over the past few weeks. But, somebody like Endrance wanting to get involved was one of the few things she could just never handle with a straight face. Or _any_ face.

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"Uh…could you please keep it down?" Atoli asked politely. "I think I hear somebody coming." In the next few seconds of silence, her suspicion was confirmed as the group could hear approaching footsteps. However, when the owner of those feet came into view, there wasn't a soul that would've preferred their current fate.

"Well, well. Look what the sand dragged in," he uttered with a chilling smile. "There are two former emperors, the moronic Doberman, and my favourite little songbird. It looks like my luck is finally changed for the better…and yours has just run out!"

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After Silabus had dashed back into the wildlife, Azure Balmung had walked along the beach until he came across the two known as Pi and Kuhn. Since they hadn't immediately ran for cover, his programming identified this as a sign of acceptance, and he took a seat right between them.

"Hey, don't you have any manners? Ask us before you just sit down anywhere you please!" Pi demanded.

"Oh, give it a rest," her partner commented. "He's fairly new to seeing us as allies, and has a bit of trouble trying to fit in. Besides, the only language he could possibly talk in is leet, and between you and me, it brings a whole new meaning to the phrase 'silence is golden'."

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"This looks like a nice spot," Haseo told himself as he looked around his surroundings. After trekking into the jungle by himself a few minutes after the first party, he had quickly found this place. It was a completely circular spot with no objects other than the grass under his feet. No trees, vines, or even a flower; just a good place to train his skills. "Too bad I don't have anyone to train with."

"Ask, and you shall receive!" a female player told the PKKer as she tried to strike him in the back. However, Haseo's reflexes allowed him to turn around, pull out his scythe, and block the attack in time.

"Bordeaux! I can't believe they'd let someone like you take part of an event like this!"

"Well, you'd better start believing it soon, or this revenge won't be nearly as sweet!"

The female Player Killer then pushed her weapon against his a little harder, causing the male protagonist to step back a bit to avoid toppling over. She then swung her broadsword at him again, but he quickly sidestepped to the left before a hit could be landed. They both turned to face each other, and were about to swing again, when they suddenly stopped moving altogether.

"Hey! These next few days are going to be pretty hard! I don't think a petty squabble like this would help either of you in the long run," Zelkova told the two as he came into view. "If any of us want to win, we're going to need teamwork, even if we end up in a team we really don't want to be a part of. Battle all you want when the show's over, but I'd recommend a temporary truce for now."

"…Fine," Haseo grunted, knowing that it was highly likely that the small hacker would keep him in this position until he said otherwise.

"Well, if Haseo here can hold the urge to kill a PK like myself for at least sixteen more days, then I guess I can agree to this as well. But, as soon as this is over, I'm going to love BOTH of you to death!"

"Yeah, Bordeaux! That's the spirit!"

"…I don't think you understood that statement the way she wants you to, Zel."

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"It's that scumbag, Sakaki! What're you doin' here?" the female Twin Blade asked. "I heard that you got amnesia, or something!"

"As a matter of fact, I did. But, that did not mean that a character I failed to remember creating wasn't eligible for this event. And as for how I remember who the rest of you are, is this place not based on an AIDA server? Since the Artificial Intelligence Data Anomaly was what brought me to all of you in the first place, the memories started flooding back as soon as I stepped foot into this field. And until the show is over, and this field is deleted, that means every single detail of my life in The World R:2 is as clear as crystal, including how at least half of you foiled all of the plans I had made! And now that you are trapped in this quicksand, I will make sure that none of you will ever-"

The green-haired Edge Punisher was interrupted as the green-clothed Blade Brandier ran into the area, collided with him, and accidentally knocked him into the quicksand with the others. "Oops; I guess I should really be more careful where I'm going," Silabus told the group. "Good thing I wound up here, though, since it looks like I came at just the right time. I passed some sturdy vines on the way here; if I find a strong enough tree to tie some to, I'll be able to get you all out in no time!"

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"…And I hope you remember all of that for the rest of your life!" Saku screamed at Azure Orca, who had recently started running away from the psychotic alter ego of a regularly calm player. As he ironically ran in the same manner that Silabus had earlier, the fan girl couldn't help but smile at a job well done.

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Yata looked down at the rest of the island below. As soon as he could, he found out where the highest point on the island was, and began to climb up to it. It had taken hours, but he had finally reached the top of the large mountain in the middle of the isle. To the north, he could see the cabins they would be residing in until the show was over. To the south, he could see the altar where they would vote members off in days to follow. To the east, he noticed a large clearing that he figured Haseo would enjoy, if the Terror of Death hadn't already found it. To the west was a rather large quicksand pit, whose five victims were being rescued at this very moment. And, right in front of him, was the only other man who would work himself to the limit just to see a sight like this for a few mere seconds.

"Glad you could make it, Yata. Or would you prefer if I referred to you as Naobi? I guess it doesn't really matter which you go by, as people like us will be remembered by our actions more than who we were, but we might enjoy a non-philosophical conversation now and then."

"Yata is fine. Should I refer to you as Tri-Edge?"

"Only if you can't bring yourself to call me by any other name. Lovely view of the rest of this landmass from up here, isn't it? Shame that such a masterpiece will only exist for a little over two weeks, but then again, nothing lasts forever. Either way, we should enjoy it while it lasts…which should be for the next few seconds. If we're going to get to that altar by nightfall, we should really hurry up."

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"There, there; it'll be all right," Kuhn said as he patted Azure Orca on the back a few times. Although programs had no emotions, after what Saku had told him, his programming knew that being depressed was the bare minimum of how he should be acting.

"Hurry up, you two," Pi called as she and Azure Balmung started walking southwards. "The sun is setting, and we're supposed to be at an altar to the south to find out who's going to be on what team. Better to be early than late, you know."

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Night

The eighteen members eventually reached the altar, and had sat down on the chairs that had appeared fairly recently. Everyone was looking around, taking a good look at not only who the six secret members were, but to see what the others had gone through.

It wasn't hard to guess a couple of the events. Gaspard and Tabby had red stains over their mouths, which likely meant that they had just stuck around the berry patch and just ate until the sun set. Alkaid's group, as well as Sakaki, were covered in dirt from the waist down, and Silabus's trousers were slightly marked as well. Everyone else, though, looked completely normal. At least, in the physical sense; Haseo was sweating like a pig in summer without a mud puddle to lounge in.

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Haseo, the Terror of Death: Perfect. This is just great. There couldn't be at least ONE of the six that I would NOT feel uncomfortable around! Bordeaux and Sakaki will try to kill me the second we get out of this place, Tabby brings back bad memories from the past, the Azure Knights and I never got along too well, and then…they had the nerve to invite _him_. He may know me very well, he may be an ally when you really think about it, he may wield an Epitaph, but…what the heck were they thinking when they called up _OVAN?!?_ I've joined his guild, beaten him up, saved his sister, and it seems that fate _still_ won't give me a solid week without thinking of what I've been going through for the last year. This is going to be the most aggravating sixteen days of my life since…the previous sixteen days of my life.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"The sun has fallen! The stars are shining! And I, your faithful host, look more dazzling under the moonlight than ever before! Tonight, we will reveal how the teams are split, and who our contestants will work with if they want to win that mysterious grand prize! There will be nine people per team, and only two teams. The first team will be referred to as 'Megiddo', and the second as 'Jihad'. The contestants will be divided in a completely equal way: four Epitaph users, and about three girls each. Also, to be as specific as possible, each team will have at least one of the following: an Emotional Protagonist, an Excellent Friend, an Ex-Emperor, an Enigmatic Leader, an Energetic Tribal Grappler, an Egomaniac, an Elite Program, someone whose personality seems Entirely Random, and one person who some of our viewers at home may know only as an Evil AIDA-User."

"What's with all the E's?" Haseo asked from his seat.

"Some kinda marketing gimmick; I don't really know myself. Anyways! In team Megiddo, we have the following: protagonist Haseo, friendly Gaspard, ex-emp. Alkaid, Yata the mysterious, energetic Tabby, overly self-confident Piros, the Azure Balmung program, Sakubo the split-personality, and the reformed Ovan. In team Jihad, we have protagonist Atoli, friendly Silabus, ex-emp. Endrance, former leader Zelkova, Pi the grappler, ladies man Kuhn…"

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Kuhn the Propagation: I though that was a tad insulting. Just because females consider me a stud muffin, I'm suddenly full of hot air. Since I'm the only guy around here, with a possible exception of Haseo, who has more admirers than fingers, they think I'm conceded. Just because I am the hottest guy to ever step foot in…now that I think about it, I could be a _tad_ less boastful…

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"…the Azure Orca program, kills-to-love Bordeaux, and Sakaki the just plain psychotic. Got that all memorized? Good, because we don't have the time for me to repeat that! The intros are over, and only excitement awaits our contestants in days to come!"

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Haseo, the Terror of Death: Well, that's just great. Sharing a cabin with Alkaid, Gaspard, and Balmung isn't too difficult. Being with Yata, Tabby, and Sakubo is a tad difficult, but still bearable. I bet I can even get over my grudge on Ovan after a while. But what did I do to deserve sharing a cabin with PIROS?!? If anyone can tell me the name and address of the moron who thought of this particular setup, I'll pay you at _least_ ten thousand GD. Right now, that's how badly I want to kick that guy right in-

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Atoli, the Mirage: Honestly, I don't quite like how the teams were divided. I know it's fair from a logical point, but I'm kinda worried. Jihad may have some strong members, but the majority of thinkers are all on Haseo's side. And why couldn't he get Pi and Bordeaux instead Tabby and Alkaid? I'd feel a lot better about my chances if he didn't have to share a cabin with him…did you say something, Mr. Cameraman? Chances of _what_? Uh…oh! Look at the time! Gotta get a good night's rest so I'm ready for tomorrow's challenges!

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"Be sure to tune in later, for the first actually _exciting_ episode of Survivor: World 2! This is Kazubolo, aka Salvador Aihara, wishing all you cuties out there a good night's sleep!"

* * *

And so, the first day comes to a close. Who do you want to see eliminated from the game? Who do you want to stick around for as long as possible? And do you have any suggestions for what challenges the teams will have to go through? Just put it in a review, and wait patiently for the next chapter to start! 


	4. Day 2

Well, it looks like a few more people have become interested with this tale. You know, a successful fanfic is like a game of Katamari Damacy; you start with a small idea, keep adding a little bit more on to what you've got before, and you'll eventually end up with a magnificent star of a story. Of course, to avoid disaster, you've always got to avoid running into something too big to handle. Things like copyright infringement, for example.

Disclaimer: Just because I bought the 'AI Buster' novels, the entire 'Another Birth' series, the 'Legend of the Twilight' magna trio, and all seven games, it doesn't mean I'm qualified to become CEO of Namco Bandai. I also don't own any of the movies or television shows mentioned in today's challenge. 

* * *

**Day 2:**** Lights! Catastrophes! ACTION! **

Morning

"Good morning, Japan! And Washington! And Scotland! And Malaysia! And wherever else this station is able to broadcast to! Filmed live from ∑ Hidden Forbidden Nurse Carnival, this is Survivor, World R: 2! If you forgot to tune in last episode…honestly, you didn't really miss much. The contestants just explored the isle a bit, and found out what teams they were on. Today is when the real fun starts! As in the scheduled routine, let's watch our two teams get ready for whatever we're going to throw at them!"

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Things were relatively calm inside the Megiddo cabin. Most of the contestants had already awoken, though Piros the 3rd was still sound asleep. It was amazing; the golden armoured fool had chosen into a top bunk, which had broken and crashed onto the empty bed below in the middle of the night, and he didn't even notice.

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Piros the 3rd, Wild Doberman: In theory, a theoretical graphic designer who could possibly have a wife and child, and who may or may not have saved the online and offline world twice, probably wouldn't be able to sleep as well as I could. But I, the silver knight in golden armour, know how important a night of rest is for the human body! Therefore, unless a true catastrophe arises, I always get at least eight hours sleep between my duties as a glorious hero! …What was that? Am I actually a graphic designer when not playing The World? Now, whatever gave you that idea, cameraman of shadowed eyes?

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On top of a bunk nearby, Yata and Gaspard were playing a classic Crimson Vs. match. Although they had both chosen well-balanced teams, Gaspard had a bit of an advantage with his chosen layout. Azure Balmung watched the game closely, simultaneously downloading strategies for the game and trying to figure out how come things like card games always became so popular in so little time.

"…What kinda idiot puts a thing like this in a freakin' jungle hut?" Alkaid commented as she examined the vanity table. After all, wearing eyeliner and lipstick on a secluded island made the whole experience somewhat less realistic. And, if there was as large an audience as she overheard Salvador imply, she'd rather be known as the kind of lady who isn't afraid of what others think than the kind who gives a darn about makeup and clothes.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In the Jihad cabin, things were quite different. Silabus had woken up with Azure Orca staring at him, and since he still hasn't gotten quite used to it, he made a rather girly scream. Bordeaux gave a hurtful insult, only to be told off by Atoli. That action caused Sakaki to act like he regularly does, which angered everyone in the room enough to make a classic cartoon fighting dust cloud…thing. Kuhn, Pi, and Zelkova had, thankfully, left the cabin early enough to avoid getting bashed a few times.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Outside the two cabins, things were quite normal…at least, as normal as Haseo, Endrance, Zelkova, Tabby, Pi, Kuhn, Bo, and Ovan can possibly be.

"Kuhn, I'm surprised," the female assistant of Yata told the man she was usually partnered with. "We've been on the island for an entire day. You haven't given me a single lewd comment, didn't reach out for me in your sleep, and haven't searched through my bags for undergarments. I'm very impressed, but still, what happened?"

"What can I say? I'm not the man I used to be," Kuhn responded. "I've changed for the better. I have no more reason to do such disrespectful actions like go though your belongings."

"Why, Kuhn, that's so-"

"Now _Alkaid's_ stuff, that's a different story!" Kuhn added with excitement as he pulled out a few things he managed to steal from the other cabin over the night. "Check out this bikini! Two-piece with spaghetti straps, red with tiny yellow polka dots…its times like this where I'm both surprised and overjoyed that Haseo chose Atoli over her! And if that wasn't enough, that Tabby chick has-"

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Pi, the Avenger: Remember earlier, when I said Kuhn was bound to say something completely demeaning to the female gender? I'm surprised he lasted this long, but I guess a pig like him can't change his snout.

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"HENTAI!" Pi shouted at the top of her lungs as she punched the leech right in the face.

Meanwhile, Haseo and Ovan were leaning against their cabin, having a discussion. "After all I've done, and everything I put you through, it's no surprise you still find it hard to trust me," Ovan told the protagonist. "I admit, my actions were downright cruel at times, but they were necessary. If I had not taken away Shino, would you have still gained such an understanding about the dark side of The World, or eliminate the A.I.D.A. threat? Or would you have just continued being a PKK, caring more about your own goals than the importance of the few you considered as friends? Think about it this way, Haseo: I almost lost my sister, my life, and my humanity. Don't you think a cold shoulder on top of that is a little cruel?"

"…Listen, Ovan," Haseo gruffly replied. "Even if you had good reasons, it'll still be a long time before I can even stand looking at you again. But if I have to cooperate with a deceptive creep, better you than Sakaki. Just…don't do anything outrageous, got it?"

"Clear as crystal."

Moving right along, Tabby and Bo were talking about how they first met Haseo. But, since the official company would prefer you watched the anime and played the games instead of finding out every little detail online, we'll just skip along to Endrance and Zelkova.

"So, young prodigy, have you ever heard of a woman named Helba?" the rose swordsman inquired.

"Well, of course, silly!" the former Moon Tree leader playfully replied. "What hacker HASN'T?"

"Oh…is that all?"

"Yeah, pretty much…why?"

"Back when The World first started, she created the first Net Slum. Since you seem to be the current operator, I was wondering if you had any connections with her."

"Oh, that's just silly! Just because I run a hacker's paradise, know everything about Data Bugs, and gave Haseo his current form, it doesn't mean Helba and I are connected!"

"…You're lying, aren't you?"

"Well, duh! But that doesn't mean I'm going to spill my secrets just like that!"

The rest of the day was quite uneventful. Just more card games, inquiries, and fights. So, let's just get to the part almost everyone has been waiting for!

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Afternoon

A giant stage has appeared on the beach. The two teams are situated to the sides of it, and Kazubolo is standing front and center.

"This is THE moment, folks! The very first challenge is going to be held in mere minutes! Two teams walk in, and though they both walk out, one's going to be a little smaller when the day is done! And, that super-secret, ultra-special challenge that nobody (except 4th wall-breakers and those that look right around me) could ever expect is…ACTING!"

"…How exactly does skill in the theatre have ANY relation to surviving on a freakin' deserted island?"

"Well, Haseo, sometimes people have to behave a certain way when they're trying to survive. This is probably a foreign concept to you, but just because a person can search the wildest jungles and climb the highest mountains, it doesn't mean that they're fearless on the inside. Each team has been given three scripts, each with three different roles, and each from three different movies or television shows. To win this challenge, our contestants must accomplish only two tasks; be believable, and don't mess up your lines! Bonus points will be given if you successfully memorize your role! Ready, groups? Start rehearsing!"

Team Megiddo had received scripts for the following: Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Young Frankenstein, and the first episode of the Fullmetal Alchemist anime.

"Okay, let's start by choosing the roles," Haseo told the group. "I'm just gonna choose these based on your personalities, so feel free to complain if you think you can do one of these better. I'll be Ed, Gaspard can be Cameron, Yata may as well be Dr. Fronkensteen, Ovan will be Cornello, Alkaid's going to play Sloane, Tabby should be Inga, Azure Orca would be the perfect Franken-Monster, Bo might as well act as Ferris, and that leaves Piros as Alphonse."

After a bit of discussion, the team agreed to go with Haseo's reccomendations. On the other end of the stage, Team Jihad had received scripts for the following: Austin Powers: Goldmember, Charlie's Angels, and Episode 3 of Invader Zim.

"We got an Invader Zim script?!" Sakaki gasped upon examining the papers. "Before it was discontinued, that was my favourite western animated series! Listen, you maggots; I call Zim, and none of you inferior peons can talk me out of it!"

"Playing the role of a delusional, megalomaniac creature that wants to take over the planet? Sounds like a role made for you," Kuhn commented. "Personally, I want to be Austin."

"I guess I could play the role of an insane Hollander," Endrance.

"This Natalia character sounds fun," Atoli.

"…\ig3l," Azure Balmung manages to utter.

"Since Gaz sounds easy, I'll play her," Bordeaux stated.

"I've never actually watched Charlie's Angels, but this Alex character sounds like a good choice," Pi tells the others. "Besides, even though I could probably play any male role as good as an actual man, I think I'll stick with what I know for the good of the team."

"That doesn't leave many roles left…I guess I'll be Dib," Zelkova.

"And I guess that leaves me with Pete," Silabus ended.

"All right, contestants! Now, as soon as this commercial break ends, be ready to present your scenes!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In a world where technology has reached its peak…

"We need someone who complements the strengths we already have."

Where the events of an online community have reached as far as the States…

"I understand we were loosing, but they were guilty of no crime!"

And the line between fiction and reality is as thin as ever…

"When I get through with a no-good, emotion-playing, merciless fiend like you, there won't be enough pixels left to sprite a regular-sized ant!"

A small group of individuals will rise up, band together, and prove something to the rest of the world: The Japanese aren't the only ones with a glitch in their system.

"There's always going to be something to catch a hunter...today it looks like surprise."

With special guests Alexander Kanbara as the brave Alex, Jacob Leos as the wily Delarane, and Nicholas Botticella as Andarc the cunning Shadow Warlock.

"You hold part of the key to the truth now."

'Project Reloaded', the hit film of the current century! Previews can be seen at http://s7. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Bo, Gaspard, and Alkaid are standing onstage. Bo is pretending to drive a vehicle, while Alkaid sits beside him and Gaspard is in the back.

"What are we going to do?" Alkaid questions, as in this point of the movie, the main characters had just successfully gotten onto the road and are driving towards the nearest city.

Bo turns to his female friend and answers, "T-the question isn't 'what _a-are_ we going to d-do,' the question is 'w-what _aren't_ we g-going to do?'"

Gaspard, who plays the nervous best friend whose father owns the expensive vehicle they are taking on a joyride, joins his hands in prayer and pleads, "Please don't say were not going to take the car home. Please don't say were not going to take the car home. Please don't say were not going to take the car home."

Bo faces the audience and asks, "If y-you had access to a c-car like this, w-would you take it b-back right away? Neither w-would I."

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Haseo, Terror of Death: I know what you're thinking. I said I'd chosen roles by personality, and Bo is about as reckless as a tube of toothpaste. To be honest, I was going to put him as Al, but two things got in the way. First, I just can't imagine the little guy as someone so big in stature, no matter how hard I try. And second, if I know Piros, the odds of him sharing a cabin with the rest of us by the end of the day will be zero to none.

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Bo's group leaves the stage, and Yata's group comes on. Tabby is standing at one edge of the stage, while Azure Orca and Yata himself are front and center.

"Hello handsome," Yata greets 'the monster'. "You're a good looking fellow, do you know that? People laugh at you, people hate you, but why do they hate you? Because... they are jealous. Look at that boyish face. Look at that sweet smile. Do you wanna talk about physical strength? Do you want to talk about sheer muscle? Do you want to talk about the Olympian ideal? You are a God. And listen to me, you are not evil. You... are... good."

A. Orca starts crying, and Yata gives him a comforting (and nothing else, you sickos) hug. "This is a nice boy. This is a good boy. This is a mother's angel. And I want the world to know once and for all, and without any shame, that we love him. I'm going to teach you. I'm going to show you how to walk, how to speak, how to move, how to think. Together, you and I are going to make the greatest single contribution to science since the creation of fire."

Tabby, whose character is outside the room when this happens, yells to 'the doctor' inside. "Dr. Fronkensteen! Are you all right?"

Yata's character, coming to a realization, stands up straight and yells back, "MY NAME…IS…FRANKENSTEIN!"

Yata's group then leaves the stage, and Haseo's group walks on. After a bit of action, we come to the scene where the two alchemists confront the manipulative head of the cult.

"Oh? Then why are you so anxious to get the stone?" Ovan, playing Father Cornello, asks the two. "You want to beat the laws of equivalency just as I do and bring your mommy back."

"Wrong, holy man. All we want is to get our bodies normal again," Haseo corrects. "See, we don't lie about what's possible. We didn't start a cult."

"Listen, vile deceiver of the people! Prepare to atone for all your wrongdoings at the hands of none other than the gallant silver warrior! Now give us that stone, foul beast, before we alchemize you straight to where beings like you shall no longer see the light of the gloriously designed sky above!" Piros booms, completely unlike the character he is currently playing.

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Haseo, Terror of Death: Knew it. Looks like I'll be getting a good night's sleep tonight!

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Ovan panics a slight bit, not prepared for such a rewrite, but quickly returns to his normal state. "Y-you are damned, State Alchemist. May the wrath of God fall upon your head."

"Stop hiding behind that crap! Get down here and I'll show you some wrath!" Haseo replies.

After a bit more acting, Haseo's group leaves the stage. Ovan is hanging his head in shame, Haseo has a sneaky grin, and Piros the 3rd is behaving the way he usually does. Kuhn's group walks onstage, with Endrance facing the audience and the other two actors facing the rose swordsman.

"Would you like a shmoke und a pancake?" Endrance asks in a fake Holland accent.

Kuhn, as his character is a little surprised by this question, asks, "... What?"

"A shmoke und a pancake. You know, a flapjack und a shigarette? No?"

Kuhn shakes his head.

"Shigar und a waffle? No?"

Once more, Kuhn shakes his head.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Kuhn, the Propagation: Man, what I wouldn't have given for a scene with some chicks in it. Aren't they usually major points in a movie? Pi would've looked absolutely gorgeous in one of those skin-tight…hey, do any of you hear the sound of a flying brick coming fr-

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"Pipe und a crepe? No?"

Both Kuhn and Azure Balmung shake their heads no.

"Bong und a blintz?"

This time, Kuhn just plainly replies "No." A. Balmung does the same, though in his case, it's more like "\0."

"Well, then there ish no pleashing you."

"That's not right..."

Kuhn's group leaves, and Pi's group comes on. Since none of them have actually seen the movie, none of them are in any particular positions.

"Okay, Thursday?" Silabus asks Atoli's character.

Atoli excitedly comments, "My favorite day!"

"Great. I'm gonna tickets," Silabus tells her.

Atoli, still excited, once more comments "I love tickets!"

"Whadda'ya know. A guy who speaks Natalie," Pi comments from where she's standing.

A lot more action actually occurred, but for the sake of the bored viewers, most of that was cut out. When Zelkova's group comes on, they look as close to being professionals as a kid hacker, semi-nuts PK, and Hannibal Lecter fan could. Sakaki has used the foliage from the jungle around him to give his skin a green coating, making him look a tad more like his character. He's also pantomiming piloting some kind of spaceship, while Zelkova holds his head in fake pain. Bordeaux is merely lying down on the floor nearby. None of the actors have a script.

"Now let's see where you are keeping the location of the disk, Dib!" Sakaki, playing the role of Zim, utters perfectly. Sakaki then mimes button pressing, which supposedly scans Zelkova' brain. A 'target' appears on his 'console'. "There!" he adds a few seconds later, as he 'fires a laser' at the point indicated on the 'console'.

Zelkova, playing the role of Dib, fakes an extreme migraine. "He's in my head! Knowledge losing…brain…dang. I can't remember where the file is! Gaz, he did it! He made me forget!"

Bordeaux merely turns to the Flick Reaper and shouts, "Quiet, Dib!"

"And now to unleash stupidity on your entire brain!" Sakaki cries out in his typically evil manner.

"And that was the last one!" Kazubolo announced to the audience, as the scene ends and all of the contestants gather onstage. "I must say, most of those performances were very well-done. But, sadly, one performance from Megiddo dragged the rest of the team down with it. Team Jihad, you are the winners of the first challenge of Survivor: World 2!"

Haseo stomps his foot against the ground in anger, while everyone else on his team looks disappointed. Atoli's team smiles and jumps for joy, with the exception of Sakaki, who merely smirks.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sakaki, Evil Megalomaniac: Yeah, I had that challenge in the bag. Not us, _I_. I've watched every single episode of Invader Zim twice online, and not only did I know the words by heart, I even acted out the props. Yeah, it was all me…okay, I admit, that maggot of an ex-boss did a rather convincing headache. But I was still the star of the show!

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Night

Team Megiddo is sitting in a row of chairs on one side of the altar. Before them lies a table, and on that table are papers, a pencil, and a box with a tiny slot on top. Standing behind the table is our favourite host, Kazubolo. "Welcome, Team Megiddo. You were all here last night, when you first found out that you would all be teamed together. Tonight, we will find out which one of you will leave the team, and be unable to return to this island..._ever_. The viewers voted earlier today, and have granted immunity to Haseo. Now, one at a time, you will vote against one of your fellow team mates, and decide which one of you will be warped off the island."

Haseo stands up, and walks to the table. He writes a name on a piece of paper, and shows the camera facing him that he has voted for Piros.

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Haseo, the Terror of Death: That goofball is bound to mess up a future challenge like he did today. Or, his idiocy will sap the concentration out of the rest of us. Either way, this is one decision I don't plan to feel guilty about.

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Haseo folds his vote, and inserts it into the box. Piros the 3rd writes the name of whom he's voting for, but doesn't show the name to the camera before inserting it.

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Piros the 3rd, Wild Doberman: Your time is up, foul cretin! You cost us this match, and thought you could get away with it. But this silver knight in golden armour will make sure that you will pay for your crimes!

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Piros leaves the table, and the next person votes. Soon, all the votes have been cast, and Kazubolo is ready to read them off. "And the first ever vote is for…Piros the 3rd. Second vote, Piros. Third vote, Piros. Fourth vote, Sakubo. Fifth, Piros. Sixth, Sakubo. Seventh, Orca. Eighth, Piros. And the final vote is…Tri-Edge?!"

The man in shining armour and tacky red goggles leaps up from his seat. "That is correct, host of angelic eyes! The people are against me, but even against impossible odds, the truth must be known. Only a being as horrendously evil as a graphic hater could be the true cause of our glorious team's loss! Please forgo the sacred rules for this one night, so we may punish the being from the depths of…someplace I'm not really certain I cam mention on air!"

"…First off, I'll just count that one as 'Ovan'. And second, although it could've been anyone's fault, there is no denying that you are the one that the team feels is holding them down. Piros, you are the first to be voted off the island."

Piros is about to protest, but realising that his friends have truly turned against him, decides that resisting is futile. Kazubolo snaps his fingers, and in seconds, Piros is warped off the island in the traditional blue rings.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Piros the 3rd, Wild Doberman: This is an outrage, I tell you! As the leader of Project G.U., I was of utmost importance to the team! There can only be one explanation…Tri-Edge invaded the minds of my allies when my back was turned, and used his diabolical powers to turn them against me! Let it be known, you infernal scallywag, that you've messed with the wrong graphic designer…theoretically!

* * *

And so ends the second day, filled with excitement and copyrighted dialogue. Keep tuning in to see which characters get some development, what the next challenge will be, and who will be next off the island! 


	5. EXTRA 1

Well, I guess you can't please everybody. Half of you faithful reviewers are celebrating Piros' absence like crazy, and the other half seems to be sharpening their knives over the fact that I just abandoned 'the funniest guy that there ever was'. I was considering just abandoning things right there and then…until Alex Warlorn's reviews came along. Take note of this, other reviewers: those are the kind of comments I LOVE. Gives a fair opinion about the overall story, and then points out every minor detail. To me, this is not being mean. This is how I know _when to improve things, and what they are._ So, this chapter is dedicated to readers like him…and those that love compromises.

* * *

**Extra 1 ****– The World's Finest Warriors…? **

Δ Hidden Forbidden Holy Ground 

The Hulle Granz Cathedral, also known to few as the Grima Raef Cathedral, or the Navel of Lake. One of the Lost Grounds known in The World, consisting of only a rather large cathedral situating on a small island in the middle of a lake. This place, although few events have actually occurred here, has become quite famous over the years. Its graphics were stunning, its past was fascinating, and it amazed all n00bs and veterans that stepped foot into this place. In short, this place was truly magnificent.

Still, Piros the 3rd had to wonder why he was transported here directly after being warped from the island. Deciding that the answers awaited him inside the building, he ran towards the doors and kicked them open in a heroic manner. What he saw inside both amazed and confused him. A rather large group had already formed near the end of the room, consisting of faces both familiar and strange. And, at the center of that group, was-

"Divine goddess Aura! I, the Swift Doberman, am both shocked and amazed at your appearance in public! Art thou in distress, holy maiden? For if a foe as great as AIDA, or even Morganna, has come your way, I will pledge myself to-"

Piros was having a bad day. First, he had been kicked off the island by Tri-Edge. Then, he had been brought to this place without being forewarned. And now, the AI had materialized a boot, and had thrown it at him! "Would you just shut up?! I can't understand how an idiot like you managed to even survive in The World, let alone help save it twice!"

The golden knight managed to (somehow) dodge the footwear, and gave a perplexed look. "Fair being, why art thou acting so strange? Have thee already been infected by some malevolent force? Thou looketh odd, and act even stranger."

"Great. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a genuine loser on our hands," the artificial intelligence announced to the group before turning her attention back to Piros. "Listen up, Piros. I've got three things to say to you, and I want you to listen. First, you stink. You think that acting as a valiant warrior earns you great respect amongst your fellow players, but it does just the opposite. If it wasn't for the fact that some guys think you're just being comical, you would have been gutted like a fish by now. Second, I'm not Aura. You're the fifth person I've run into that has confused me for my mother, and I'm rather sick of repeating myself. And third…I can't believe I really have to say this…I need your help to fight the greatest foe the internet has ever seen."

"…Could you run that by me again?"

One of the members of the group of players slapped his forehead. "Could somebody remind me why I left Riot Gunner for _this?_"

The blonde-haired computer program sighed. "Obviously, it looks like I'm going to have to give a little more detail before you get used to this. Let's start from the top, shall we? First off, I am not Aura. My name is Zefie. I am her 'daughter', created from the remnants of one of her failed prototypes. When she was transferred from the old version of The World to this one, I reluctantly tagged along and did a much better job of hiding myself than she did. But, something weird has happened fairly recently, and according to her, _I'm_ the one who has to help out the heroes this time. It seems she's still too tired after that recent Cubia thing to be of any real help."

The daughter of Aura continued. "Something strange has been happening recently. We don't know what's going on, but it's connected to that island you were just on. I saw from the files I've downloaded that you're a graphic designer, so you know just as well as I do that the island wasn't built from the guys that run this place at all. Anyways, we needed to get somebody to investigate the area and find out what's up, but at the same time, remain unknown to whatever force is out there. Lucky for us, that Kazubolo weirdo just happened to come up with a television idea, so I managed to contact him as soon as we found out."

Zefie took a deep breath, even though she didn't need to, and kept the story going. "He and the other contestants, with the possible exception of that Sakaki creep I didn't even invite, think that this is all a special event that has been accepted by the higher ups. But, of course, it's not. In fact, you guys aren't even on air; the only place that's actually getting your transmissions is one that only I…and maybe a couple of really skilled hackers…can get to. It's all just one big plot to locate whatever force is strong enough to create an entire island without the corporation noticing, and get the Azures to eliminate it ASAP."

"…I still don't get it."

The program sighed. "Somebody hacked into the system to create an island, and since we can't find out who did it, I'm making a trap. I told Kazubolo a bunch of lies to get you heroes onto the island, as well as to block access from anyone else entering. Azure Balmung and Orca are only pretending to be contestants, and are actually supposed to find the force before it gets out of hand, and the actual contestants is my Plan B. Oh, and Sakaki somehow exists, though it doesn't look like he has that Zenith AIDA anymore."

"Now THAT, I can understand!" Piros told the program, after this whole dilemma was put into terms he could actually understand. "Just two questions. First, if you've already got all those people at your disposal, why are all these people here?"

"I'll field that one," the group member from earlier told the goddess. "You see, Mr. I-Can-Make-A-Freakin'-Island-Outta-Nowhere seems to have stopped his actions as suddenly as he started them. But, if he tries to take control over another area, Zefie here has already put all her eggs in one basket. Of course, that 'basket' is most likely the way to reach his base of operations, seeing as the first try is rarely perfect, so I can't blame her. Still, if another place gets hacked into and turned into…whaddya say it was like? An AIDA Server? Anyways, we're just going to be the guys that investigate."

"Yeah, that's about it," Zefie commented. "You're going to be my loyal scouts. Sounds boring and demeaning, but if we don't get as much info on this guy as we can, who knows what could happen? Mayhem seems to be a good guess. So, what was that other question?"

"Well, O fair princess of the divine one, who will be my comrades in this mission?"

"Just a bunch of powerful guys I managed to find when searching through the net. Let's see…Mr. Helpful over here goes by Sakisaka. Though I found out he moved on to Riot Gunner when I came across his account, he came running when I mailed him the fact that he might be able to meet Tabby again. That creep in the back corner is named Negimaru, who you may have run into a couple of times if you hung out with Haseo enough. He may be a creepy PK, but he has three qualities we need: power, determination, and expendability. That kid asleep on the pew is what Hetero looks like without all that infection. He's still a powerful fighter, and even though this threat isn't exactly AIDA, he should still know a few things about it that can help the rest of you out. The two leaning against the wall are Gord and B-Set, and let me tell you, it wasn't easy finding out where they got to after quitting The World! But since they have experience with eccentric evil masterminds, it should be worth the trouble. And finally, we have the world's leading expert on all things Sakaki. I believe you may have met him as well, so I don't think I should have to warn you about his fruity nature…even though I think I just did."

The blonde Macabre Dancer in question suddenly notices Piros, and quickly runs up to him. "Oh emm gee, is that really you, Piros?" Hiiragi asked as he grabbed the graphic designer's hand and began to shake it. "Your design hasn't changed a bit…but then again, neither has mine! I know I said I'd change my character during that great battle we were all a part of, but when you're asked to help save an entire online community, you've got to go with what you're experienced in! This is going to be _so_ exciting!"

The daughter of the goddess gave out another sigh. She knew that these players were the only thing standing between life and death if things got too out of hand. But still, did they have to be such oddballs? And if fate lead them down a dangerous path, would they even live to tell the tale? Only time would tell.

* * *

For the record, although seemingly important, these guys still won't pop up too much. That means, for those that hate Piros, you don't have to worry about him suddenly becoming the center of attention. Is everybody happy with that? If not…I dunno, pretend this chapter never happened? Honest to Aura, I'm out of ideas at this point. 


End file.
